Cross to Bear
by eternallydaydreaming
Summary: When a mysterious new friend arrives, a wedge is thrust between Noctis and his daughter. Noctis is now forced to face a demon from his own past.


A/N: Before reading this fic you have to go into it with the frame of mind that the game has an alternate ending. My favorite headcanon I use in regards to fics like these is that after Noctis's sacrifice Bahamut shows mercy on the Chosen King and the Oracle and revives Noctis and Luna to lead the people out of the ruins. Also when reading, pronounce the child's name with a European flare (think Anna from Frozen). Enjoy!

* * *

Cross to Bear

Crack! Pop! Stiff joints protested as Noctis stretched out his arms and cricked his neck. Wincing, he rubbed at the muscles that he managed to overextend. Tired eyes held dark bags yet his blue irises still glistened brilliantly – the one part the held any semblance of life. Through the long corridors, the clicking of his heels against the marble floor ticked to the tempo of his throbbing headache. Having traveled through the world in ruins, Noctis knew reconstruction was going to be a massive undertaking but by the Six he felt as though he was aging faster than during the ten years he spent trapped in the crystal. But the work day was over now and he could put all of those troubles on the back burner for now. That was one thing he had promised himself – never put work over family. He frowned as he recalled the late night hours his own father spent in counsel meetings or reading over papers. Despite the routine family dinners and the occasional bed time story, King Regis was missing from his life. The day his daughter was born Noctis swore to never sideline her.

Spying the light seeping under her door, Noctis smiled and slowed his paced. Quietly tiptoeing, he crept to the door and pressed his ear against the white painted wood. Her voice was muffled but she seemed to have been deep in conversation. Even though she possessed her mother's saintly patience, the four-year-old's attention span had its limits and thus must have started playtime without him. Twisting the knob, he pushed the door, praying it wouldn't creak. Perfect, her back was turned to him. Sneaking up behind her, Noctis quickly wrapped her in a bear hug and smothered her cheek with kisses, earning him a gleeful squeal.

"Papa! It's scratchy!"

He chuckled at the complaint that he had heard for the umpteenth time although deep down he knew she enjoyed the sensation of the facial hair rub against her soft skin. Besides, the beard was going nowhere. It took a good solid couple of years to grow it out properly compared the spotty mess he had after leaving the crystal.

"How is my little Light of Lucis doing this evening?"

Luciana giggled at her pet name. He adored how her deep blue eyes twinkled when she laughed. Dark brown hair framed her face much like how Lunafreya's golden locks did in her youth. While many of her features screamed Lucis Caelum, her round, delicate face resembled that of house Nox Fleuret.

"Fine," she declared pouring more "tea" into a cup and placing it across the table from her.

Noctis pulled the child-sized chair out, prepared to take his seat for their daily tea time. As he squatted down, Luciana's eyes widened in panic and yelled, "No! You can't sit there!"

Noctis shot straight back up and scanned the chair for any mysterious spills or stains. Finding nothing wrong he glanced curiously at his mortified child.

"You almost sat on my friend!"

Curiosity transformed into a nod of understanding. He then turned back to the empty chair and bowed slightly.

"My apologies…uh," he paused, unsure which fifty percent probability to risk. "…Madame…?"

"He's a man," Luciana quickly corrected.

 _Damn it!_

"My apologies again, Sir." Noctis began pulling up a chair from her art table when he caught Luciana glancing uneasily at him from behind her tea cup. "Is everything alright, Luci?"

Sighing softly, she placed her tea cup back onto the saucer resting on the table and turned to face him. She lightly gripped at her dress as she bit her lip.

"Well, my guest…he…he doesn't want you to join us tonight."

Knitting his eyebrows together, Noctis's range of emotions blurred into a mix of hurt and bafflement.

"I don't understand. Was there anything I did to upset you, Luci?"

"No," she shook her head, which only served to puzzle him more. Noticing his reaction, Luciana proceeded to explain, "My friend said that you have called him mean names. He says that you…" She turned and stared at the empty seat. Noctis followed her gaze and again saw nothing. "…s-l-a-n-d-e-r-e-d," she annunciated carefully. "...his name."

Noctis's head spun as he attempted to wrap his mind around what just happened. The rejection from his daughter through this imaginary friend he supposedly had insulted.

"Um…Luci, if I had done something to offend your friend, I am truly sorry."

Silently, Luciana faced her friend and then returned her attention to Noctis and gave off a huff. "He says you don't mean it. I'm very sorry but you should go. We can do tea tomorrow."

Before he could protest, Luciana escorted him to the door and bid him a good-bye. The door gently shut behind him yet he felt as though he was unceremoniously thrown out onto his butt. He stood a moment trying to process the sequence of events and what kind of imaginative play involved Noctis insulting her imaginary friend.

 _Perhaps she's reenacting something from school._

Now that Luciana was attending preschool new habits found their way home. At times stories of various preschool happenings popped up during the dinner conversations. Turning around, Noctis pressed his ear against the door and listened to the hushed, one-sided conversation. It was difficult to make out any coherent phrases; he just picked up on words here and there. Then, one word jumped out and grabbed his attention, one that instantly stopped his heart and knotted his stomach.

"Ardyn."

. . .

Staring out the window, Noctis gazed over the cityscape from the comforts of his velvet lined chair. The glow of the artificial lights drowned out the night stars. He missed the serenity of staring at the night sky, to glimpse the heavens. He craved that peace right now. Bouncing his leg rapidly, he replayed the night's events. During dinner Noctis had watched his daughter carefully. She chatted about art time at school and requested a paint set for home. Then she grew excited over the permission form to attend a children's museum, which Lunafreya agreed to sign after dinner. No talks about her mysterious friend named Ardyn. How could she have possibly known that name? Noctis took precautions to ensure that name would never be uttered again.

A pair of delicate arms wrapped around him as strands of blonde hair tickled the side of his face. Then soft lips kissed on his cheek. Pulling back, his wife whispered, "There's something on your mind."

Holding up a closed fist, he pressed a knuckle against his lips. A deep exhale flared out his nostrils.

"Luna, when did Luci learn the word 'slander'?"

She furrowed her brows slightly in confusion and thought a moment. "I cannot recall that word coming up in conversation. Why do you ask?"

"It's just…I had a weird conversation with her at tea time today. Do you mind if I ask you something?"

"Hm?" she responded with a soft chuckle as if to say "of course you can."

"I-I know that as an Oracle you are able to communicate with the Astrals. Is that the extent of your abilities? Well, what I mean is, is that your only connection to the spiritual realm?"

Pulling back, Lunafreya walked to the other chair across from Noctis and sat down.

"Why the sudden inquiry?" his wife asked curiously while studying Noctis's grave countenance.

Noctis returned her gaze as he began recounting the strange conversation. "Luci turned me away from tea time today."

Lunafreya quirked an eyebrow. Before she could tease him, Noctis held up a hand so that he could continue his explanation.

"The reason behind it was more concerning than her not wanting to play with me. Apparently I had offended an imaginary friend of hers. I was unaware that she started entertaining imaginary friends. But that's not unnatural. Lots of kids have made up friends when their young. It's just…the part that concerns me is that her friend's name is…Ardyn."

Noctis stared as Lunafreya's light blue eyes shifted uncomfortably at the sound of his name yet not a hint of astonishment flashed through them. He waited patiently as Lunafreya decided on her choice of words.

"There are stories that some Oracles of old had abilities to commune with wandering spirits…"

"Talk to the dead?" he interrupted.

"Correct. Those Oracles helped to heal the wounds of the restless spirits so that they could find peace and move to the beyond. Neither I nor my mother had such abilities but I have heard the stories from Gentiana. I am not sure when these abilities were last manifested as it is a rare gift though there seems to be a correlation between large scale catastrophes – wars or natural disasters, an event that led to a massive amount of deaths – and the revival of spiritual communion."

Noctis bit his lip as his blood ran cold. "Are you trying to tell me that…Ardyn is haunting the Citadel and our daughter can speak with him?"

"That may be the case. He was once a Lucian king thus he has strong ties to the palace."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Noctis could only think, _Will I ever be rid of that asshole?_

. . .

The next morning Noctis silently snuck out of bed so not to disturb his sleeping wife. Despite his reputation for not being a morning person, regal responsibilities trained him to become an early riser. However anxiety kept him up during the night so he was left to watch the time tick away – though he may have dozed for short cat naps – until it was a reasonable time for his daughter to crawl out of bed. The first rays of light barely peaked over the horizon as Noctis slipped on a black silk robe to cover his bare chest. Even though he attempted to quietly walk through the hallway, his slippers shuffled noisily. Approaching the white door he once again found light already spilling out. Rapping lightly with his knuckle, he waited for permission to enter. The door parted slightly as big blue eyes peaked through.

"Morning," he greeted with a smile.

"Good morning," she chirped back. Clearly she had been up for some time.

"Would you care to join me for breakfast in the garden this morning?"

"What about Mama?"

"She's still asleep. I missed out on tea time and thought this would be an acceptable alternative. Just you and me."

A wide grin spread across her face as she flung the door open and squeezed Noctis's hand. The two walked quietly as Noctis lightly rubbed sleep out of his eyes. The restless night will hit him hard later. Entering the garden, Noctis led Luciana to the small round, white, metal table. He pulled the chair out for her and scooted her close to the table.

"I already put in the order for breakfast. How does chocolate chip pancakes sound?"

"Yummy!"

Noctis chuckled as he took his own seat. He half itched, half groomed his disheveled beard. Staring at his daughter he admired how even with messy hair she looked adorable. Had they waited for breakfast later in the morning, the sunlight would have radiated off her golden highlights – one of the subtle influences from Lunafreya's genes.

"So it seems you enjoy painting," Noctis decided on small talk first. "I didn't catch what exactly you painted at school yesterday."

"I painted us. You and Mama and me when we visited the chocobos."

Smiling, Noctis thought back to a few months ago. When it was time to tuck Luciana into bed, Noctis and Lunafreya took turns reading bedtime stories. Lunafreya narrated the tales from Cosmogony – not too surprising for an Oracle to groom her fledgling into her future role. Noctis on the other hand gave her free choice on the story. Each night was unpredictable. Maybe a story for one of her fairytale books. Some nights they took turns to spontaneously piece together their own story. More often than not Luciana wanted a story from his adventures during his youth. One night he recounted the tale of Dead Eye. After describing the chocobos, Luciana obsessed over them and begged to visit Wiz's farm. He never figured out how Wiz managed to breed chocobos during the Years of Darkness but he was thankful the species were spared the devastation. Luciana squealed in delight when she finally met them. The yellow birds kwehed their greetings. She pet them whenever the chocobos nudged their heads against her body. That was her first vacation.

"That sounds like a very lovely picture. I can't wait until you bring it home."

Luciana grinned with a slight giggle. Noctis cocked his head to the side, not expecting such a reaction.

"Why did you giggle? Do you I have something on my face?" He joked, trying to act casual rather than suspicious.

"No!" Her grin grew wider thoroughly amused by his antics. "It's just…," she began but pulled back sheepishly as if she was caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"What's the matter?" Noctis softened his voice, reassuring her that she could tell him anything.

"Ardyn said the same thing last night. It's just…you almost sounded like him."

Sitting straighter in his seat, Noctis mulled over what he should say next. He needed information yet he didn't want to frighten his daughter. Keeping his voice soft, he calmly proceeded.

"How often does Ardyn visit you? Do you see him a lot?"

Luciana shrugged. "He has told me stories before. Yesterday was the first time he came for tea. Sometimes I see him walking in the halls, but he doesn't stop to talk to me."

Noctis mentally winced as he realized the former king roamed the Citadel far more often than he could have ever imagined. Clenching the arms of his chair, he pressed his lips, fighting back what he truly wanted to ask – whether that manipulative bastard had ever hurt his little princess.

"What do you two talk about?" he chose to ask instead.

"He tells me how life used to be…back when he was king. You know, they used to ride chocobos since they didn't have cars back then."

Noctis nodded at this fact. "Anything else?"

"He tells me it's important to listen to you. To learn from you. He told me one day I will be queen and that it's important to be a good queen for the people so that they're taken care of."

Silence descended on the garden as Noctis analyzed the conversation. A soft, caring Ardyn was tough for him to chew. Who was he to mentor the young princess anyway?

"Papa?"

"Hm?" He returned his gaze, staring deep into glistening blue orbs.

"He wasn't always bad, you know?"

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Noctis remained silent as he pondered if the child was also a mind reader. Leaning forward, he rung his hands together and nervously bounced his leg under the table.

"Luci," he started but hesitated, debating how much he should reveal. "Ardyn did a lot bad things. He even hurt Mama a long time ago. Do you know about any of this?"

The child's gaze shifted to her lap. She answered with a slight nod.

"He feels bad about all of that. I can feel his sorrow. That's how I first met him. He was sitting in a chair with his head in his hands. I asked him why he was crying. He told me that pe..pe..," Luciana stumbled over a word before finally shaking her head and revising her word choice. "His shame won't let him seek forgiveness for his actions. He told me that he had hurt a lot of people like Mama. He told me to stay away from him too so I wouldn't be hurt."

"So why didn't you listen?" Noctis mentally smacked himself for blurting the question out.

"I want to help him."

 _As such an Oracle would. Already following in her mother's footsteps._

"I have seen what his life used to be like," she continued. "It's like walking in a dream but it's real. Like I can see memories that the Citadel keeps. Ardyn was a caring king. He was kind of like an Oracle too. He healed people. Many people with the scourge came to him and he took it away from them. He even absorbed their daemons. All he wanted was to stop the suffering. But then his heart grew dark and the Astrals abandoned him. He became lost and alone and then angry. He took that anger out on other people. But his darkness is gone now, Papa. He said Mama helped to cleanse his soul but he's still lost and alone so it traps him here. He told me that when you say how bad he was it makes him sadder. That's why you weren't allowed to have tea with us."

"I see," was all the response Noctis could muster. The information was too much to process before having his morning cup of coffee. "Well, if Ardyn will be staying with us, what do you suppose we should do to make him more comfortable?" Because he be damned if he was barred from spending time with his daughter again.

"You need to apologize to him."

As soon as the words left her mouth, Noctis instantly regretted his question. "Luci, that is a difficult request to fulfill…"

Her misty puppy dog eyes pleaded with him and melted his heart. He wanted to believe her story – that Ardyn may once have been a man of integrity – but how could he after all the misery Ardyn forced upon him. Yet he felt his resolve weakening especially when she pushed her bottom lip out into a pout. A heavy sigh signaled his defeat.

"H-how do I apologize to a man I can't see?"

Luciana hopped out of her chair and grabbed Noctis by the hand. Leading the way, the pair came to the edge of the garden where a white marble bench stood among rose bushes that had been planted for his mother.

"There," Luciana pointed.

Noctis intently stared at the bench, concentrating with all his might in order to view a glimpse of the supposed apparition but saw nothing. He stepped forward as he gathered his thoughts, unsure of how to proceed.

Noticing his hesitation, Luciana chimed in, "It's ok, Papa. It's the spirit of the man he used to be, not the man he became."

Casting a sullen gaze to the ground, he concealed his uncertainty from Luciana. Oh how he wished he could believe her words. "Sweetie, can you do me a favor? Why don't you wait at the table for breakfast, and I'll join you shortly?"

"Okay, Papa!" With a slight skip in her step, she retreated back to the breakfast table, leaving Noctis alone, staring at an empty bench.

"Hm," he snickered slightly. "You must be really enjoying my discomfort right now, huh, Ardyn? Well, assuming you really are here. I honestly don't know if I believe that you actually haunt the Citadel but I made a promise so here goes."

Noctis paused, inhaled a calming breath, and mentally chastised himself for feeling so foolish.

"If you truly are the man my daughter claims then I do apologize for never speaking of the good you did during your life. For omitting of your contributions from history. I apologize for continuing to drag your name through mud because of my bias against you. I, however, cannot forgive you for the pain and suffering you cause for so many. I cannot forgive you for stabbing Luna. And I guarantee if you ever do anything that harms my daughter, you will have to contend with me otherwise you may live here in peace."

As he finished his speech, Noctis stood motionless, waiting for some sign that Ardyn heard his words. The garden only answered with silence though. Noctis twisted his mouth slightly. He had hoped voicing his opinion would have been therapeutic, however, his heart still grasped onto the grudge against the king of old. Noctis just hoped that it was enough to remove the wedge between him and his daughter.


End file.
